span.fullpost {display:inline;} span.fullpost {display:none;}
Monday, January 10, 2005


the end of e road...
i've reached e end of e road..i cant believe it myself too..was still juz saying ytd dat i'll try my best 2 work my way thru...but now it's all OVER...it seems like all along he nv thought dat i like him..coz ytd nite jer was talking 2 him..& they reached a topic bout me..asking him whether he has thought of y i cant really talk 2 him..he does nt seem 2 noe & juz assume we cant click..so jer decided maybe it's time dat we shld confirm his suspicions coz we thought he shld haf guessed it all along..who noes he didnt..anywae i also decided maybe it's time 2 let him noe..it's no use juz dragging on letting him think i'm some weird gal who juz cant seem 2 communicate wif him..ok so jer slowly led him on in obvious ways..& he guessed it..& he was shocked..but he asked jer 2 dissuade me frm liking him coz he doesnt want me 2 waste my time..coz he said e feelings r nt there & we haf no chemistry..yah i can understand..but it's coz we haven had e friendship yet so he thinks we dun click..hai..anywae he'll nv understand my feelings 4 him i guess..he juz thinks it's a crush coz i dun really noe him well enuf..yah i admit it's true u cant say u really like a person until u noe him well..but i also dunno y i'm feeling tis way..e feelings juz came 2 me..juz dat rite feeling..& i noe it clearly myself it's NOT a crush..if it is,i wont be acting & feeling tis way le..i wont be shedding tears almost everyday 4 him tis hols..& crying my eyes out for e last 5 dayz in a row..but he'll nv noe..anywae jer told him she wont tell me wateva was in their conversation..but act all along i was on e phone wif her..& e tears fell frm 11pm..nonstop..it nv ended..till i fell asleep @ 4am..woke up @ 830 supposedly 2 help jer bid 4 her eng tut..& e whole cycle of tears came again..i noe it's gonna continue 4 a long time like tis...there's nth i feel like saying now..it's all over...all e hopes i've been holding on 2 is gone...i noe i gotta be strong..it's alwaiz been wat i've been trying so hard 2 be ever since my past experience..but tis time i cant do it again..my weakness has overpowered me...

left a trail at 9:30 AM