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Sunday, January 02, 2005


Mixed feelings...
didnt meet up wif ping in e end todae coz she had 2 rush an assignment..i'll be meeting her next wk instead..so todae is another rest day 4 me:)anywae tml is my csc camp grp's chalet(3 dayz 2 nitez)..i rem our 1st chalet was in july juz a mth after we knew one another..dat time e response was gd,almost every1 turned up & stayed over..erm i can still vividly rem wat happened @ e chalet coz 'he' was there...but anywae i'm having mixed feelings bout tml's chalet..EXCITED coz i like going chalets as it's a chance 4 bonding..although tis time e response wont be so gd..quite a no. cant stay over & diff pple can make it on diff dayz..but hui & i & a couple of frenz will confirm be staying throughout e chalet..HAPPY coz i can finally get 2 see him after a mth le..DISAPPOINTED coz he most prob can only make it on e 2nd day & may nt stay over..WORRIED dat things which r nt in my favor will happen & SCARED dat if god really give me chances,i'll lack e courage 2 make gd use of them(like in jer's situation)...hai anywae y am i thinking so much..e most he'll only be @ e chalet 4 a couple of hrs..it'll probably be juz like usual..both of us nt having much contact @ all & dat he'll be oblivious of my presence:( well wont be blogging for 2 dayz so when i get back i'm gonna blog bout wat happened @ e chalet & my feelings then(but i may haf lost e actual feelings by e time i blog)..anywae maybe i'll be writing my next blog wif a heavy heart..obviously i hope nt..anywae juz hope 2 relax & enjoy myself if possible during tis chalet coz it's e last wk of my hols..& by then it's time 2 slog 4 e new sem!
i'm really getting apprehensive..maybe e chalet will mark e end of all e hopes i've been struggling to hold on to all tis while???

left a trail at 10:26 PM