Friday, February 04, 2005
28th Feb '05
dat's e dateline set 4 me 2 give 'him' up..& most "interestingly" of all..it's nt set by me or my close frenz..but set by e directly involved party himself(tis is e dateline he gave jer 2 convince me 2 give him up completely)i really cant believe it..i nv knew dat there is time limits 2 liking some1..hai nv knew dat liking some1 was tis tough..initially,i had 2 hide my feelings 4 him so dat it wld nt be known 2 him..then when he finally knew bout my feelings,i had 2 feign nonchalance & act like i wasnt affected by it(though deep inside it's e opp)so as 2 prevent further awkwardness btw us..& now i had tis dateline 2 meet which i noe i wont be able 2 do so..so 4 e sake of meeting tis dateline,i haf decided 2 pretend dat i've gotten over him & found a new "target"..guess tis is e only way out le..so as 2 put an end 2 all tis "problems" between us..or so i hope.becoz of tis..i've 2 go against my own will..well it seems like i'm practically at e mercy of e hands of e 1 i like..but do i haf a choice?
hai actually i really dunno wat i want..perhaps e only way 2 get over him faster is nt 2 see him @ all..but when i dun get 2 see him..i realise i do miss him & think of him whenever my mind is nt occupied..act now i do haf e chance 2 see him occassionally coz he's joining e 'Union Ball'(by Bizcom)organising committee which i'm in too..i'm supposed 2 be glad rite?coz i missed e chance of working wif him 4 YEP..although it's a diff thing now coz we wont really be working directly wif each other as we hold different jobs..but i'm nt actually glad or wat leh..maybe it's becoz i wld rather nt haf any contact wif him if he's gonna continue treating me like some stranger..i really dread dat kinda feeling when i juz seem invisible 2 him..act sometimes i do think bout everything dat has happened & wonder if i made a mistake like jer 2 let him noe my feelings 4 him(though we were in diff situations)..but cum 2 think of it..i remembered him being more friendly & casual towards me b4 all tis had happened..& in some occassions he even showed me some concern as a fren..but now..i dun even feel like a fren of his..i guess e genuinity of our friendship is lost...
