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Wednesday, June 07, 2006


stressed & exhausted..nth better to describe how i feel. stressed bout work..nt clinching any deals up to now..it's nt only bout e commission..it's juz i really dun want to "gu fu" my bosses..they've been really nice & supportive..& if we all dun get any deals, it affects e company's reputation. dat's wat i'm real stressed bout..at first i thought i had tis potential client but juz today after getting back to her, it seems like even if she were to advertise wif us, it most prob wld nt be for e coming issue coz they r pretty busy at e moment. which means i'm like back to square one again..i'm only left wif another potential but it's also possible dat i'll get e same response. e next deadline is nearing..& dat's wat freaking me out..wat if i cant get any deals for tis mth again. urghhhh!!!

& my bosses haf juz left for shanghai for a business trip..so for e rest of tis wk, we'll be working at e publisher's office..which means it's gonna be much more stressful..working alongside e expert & e experienced. so watever we do will most likely be monitored..but of course i believe it'll be a gd training experience too. juz hope everything turns out ok over there & i'm really praying hard to get at least one deal for tis mth.

then e next pressure dat comes is for night walk. today was our final trial which is also e full dress rehearsal. things haf definitely improved frm e previous trial but still quite messy & uncoordinated here & there. hai..i really feel bad nt being able to be wholly immersed in e night walk planning & preparations due to my work but i've been trying hard to help in watever i can. if e programme doesnt go on well on dat day..i'll be blaming myself for it. there r times when i wonder, if i didnt choose to work, i'll probably be having a gd time playing e camp games during trials, mixing wif e other councillors & at least knowing wat's going on..& i'll definitely haf more time & energy to concentrate on planning my nightwalk program. but still it was my firm decision in wanting to get a job right frm e start so i cant regret it. furthermore my job isnt dat bad..it's juz e stress dat stems frm nt getting any deals.

ok enuf of ranting..i shall get to sleep to liberate myself frm all tis stress & wake up to a new day..which i dunno wat awaits me. juz bring me gd news pls!

left a trail at 12:04 AM